The Washington Redskins @ The New York Giants,  Giants Stadium, 7 p.m, NBC  

5 Questions We Need Answered:

5.  Can Eli continue the magic carpet ride, which began late last season and ended with a very happy ending.

4.  Is Plaxico the real deal, like many fantasy ballers hope?  We are NOT sold, yet.

3.  Is Tom Coughlin’s face still bright red, from last season’s playoff victory at freezing Lambeau.  Of course it is. 

2.  Can Brandon Jacobs make it through an entire game without limping, or getting injured?  How does a guy this big get hurt so easily?

1.  Are the Redskin Cheerleaders still well-built?  

Sorry, this has nothing to do with football, but we thought you should know that Republican Presidential Candidate, John McCain,  was recently named the World’s Oldest Living Pimp, by NFLJuice.com.   The decorated Maverick continues to  surround himself with beautiful women.

 Stay tuned to the Juice for a recap of tonights big game between the G-Men and the Skins.  We’ve got you covered. 

PS- We know, stay away from politics.  Settle down. 

The New York Jets travel to Miami to face the Dophins in week 1, and although both teams finished dismally last season, this match-up is worth watching for obvious reasons.  The whole Pennington-Favre thing, coupled with the new Parcells Era, this one is a Juice Must-See Game.

Brett Favre, at 39 years-old, still has a chip on his shoulder about the Green Bay break-up.  He’ll make his 276th consecutive start — including playoffs — on Sunday, extending what is already a league record.

Favre threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns last season, earning a passer rating of 95.7 — his best since 1996. But he had thrown 47 interceptions next to just 38 touchdowns in the previous two seasons, and after the roller-coaster offseason, the pressure will be on to produce victories for the Jets.

“I understand that most people think the odds are against me, and that’s fine,” Favre said. “I’m not here to be a god. I’m not here to get trashed, either. I’m here to help this team win. I still think I can offer something to the game of football, to myself. That’s all I can do. I hope it works out, believe me.”

Juice:  Favre would really like to send us message to former GM Ted Thompson and Coach Mike McCarthy.  We fully expect Brett to lay it on the Dolphins.  ”Git er’ dunnnnn”.  [Dolphin noise]

The experts at ESPN have released their power rankings going into week one….and we couldn’t disagree more.  

ESPN,  JUICE

1.  Patriots,  Chargers

2.  Chargers,  Cowboys  

3.  Cowboys,  Jaguars  

4.  Colts,   Patriots

5.  Jaguars,  Eagles   

6.  Steelers,  Colts  

7.  Saints,  Steelers  

8.  Giants,  Packers

 9.  Seahawks,  Browns   

10.  Packers,  Saints

Juice:  We win this on looks alone.  Clayton is struggling.  

Good Morning, yawl and welcome to another edition of Morning Wood.  Today’s presenter is Holly Madison.  You know her as one of Hef’s girls.  We know her as a regular at our Christmas Party.  OK, she wasn’t actually AT our Christmas Party last year, but it was reported that she was IN Vegas at the same time we were there for our party.  

Footall finally begins tonight as the Giants face the Redskins.  Be sure to set your lineup accordingly.

What else is new?  Favre was selected as the Jets team captain-and he was “all grateful ‘n’ stuff ’bout it”. Kyle Boller is out, and Tom Brady is “supposedly” ready to go- despite our anonymous tip, which we still stand by.  

We also learned that Tom Brady Sr. had no idea Tom Junior had a fracture.  There’s probably more than a few things that dad doesn’t know about Tommy.  Like…that pretty girl he’s always seen with in magazines–well, he’s seen her boobies.  And he liked em’ alot. 

HEADLINES

• Raven days done? Boller on IR, to miss all of ‘08

• Brady practices, primed to start Week 1 opener

• ‘I’m honored’: Jets vote Favre in as team captain

• Welcome to the Lions: Guy stole my underwear

• Jags’ Collier still critical; cops have no suspects

• Seahawk Branch hopes to end 7-month layoff

• Carolina backup QB (broken leg) out indefinitely

• Saints will play in Superdome despite hurricane

• Cops pointed gun at Jags’ RB, did drug search

• NFL will honor Upshaw at all 16 opening games

While we wait for more breaking news, or the announcement of this weeks NFL Injury Report, we’d like to take a moment to test your  football knowledge.

This weeks Topic:  Football-Playing Brothers

Subject:  Kyle “Whiskey Boy” Orton

True or False:   Kyle  has a younger brother, named ’Greg Orton’, that plays at Purdue and wears the number 21.

Answer:

False.  Purdue does have a WR with big talent named Greg Orton #21, but he is not related to Kyle.  Greg’s 40 yard dash time was 4.47 recently, Kyle’s- 7.4.   Take Care.

A report at Pro Football Talk has revealed that Tom Brady’s MRI report from on or about August 15th, may have revealed that Brady suffered more than a deep bone bruise, perhaps a fracture.  Here’s a clip from Pro Football Talk.

“A reader tells us that WEEI in Boston has reported that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady actually has or had a broken bone in his foot, but that Brady still plans to play in the regular-season opener on September 7.  (We’ve since dialed up WEEI over the Internet, and while the guys are debating whether or not Matt Cassel can get it done if called upon to play, they’ve said nothing over the last 30 minutes or so about whether or not Brady has or had a broken bone in his foot.  It could be that they were speculating, but since we typed this thing up and have been holding it for a half hour, we’re compelled to salvage the article.)

 Juice:  Can a world class athlete like Tom Brady perform with a fracture, if he has one?  Yep.  But, if a pulling Guard incidentally hammers down on Tom’s foot, the fracture (if he has one) could become a bigger problem.  

PS-  Here’s an audio clip from WEEI, which may or may NOT provide insight.

This is probably the coolest draft we’ve ever seen, besides the one we held a couple of weeks ago-featuring much bigger names than in this video, names like Nik Richie, AJ Daulerio, Jimmy Traina….Dave!  Dave from Tailgating Ideas can throw a tailgating party that these NFL big-timers wouldn’t even get invited to.  Nik Richie throws in parties in Vegas that Reggie Bush and Marcus Allen attend, while he’s on a raft in Maui.

Plus, we had Tanner Cooley in our draft, NOT his brother Chris.  Tanner knows things about fantasy football that Chris doesn’t-trust us.

In all seriousness, this draft was off the chains.  Dammit.  No invite, Cooley?

LINKS

Erin Andrews could use a trip to Victoria Secrets [Don Chavez]

Can the Buccaneers go all the way, NFHell will let you know [NFHell]

The Hazean has boldly selected the All-Fantasy Team [The Hazean]

Football is here: Louisville Chicks dancing and drinking Bud Light [BC]

UT cheerleading uniforms are unique and chappy [Uncoached]

Oh those Smelley Gamecocks [TBL]

Previewing the Cincinatti Bengals [Deadspin]

Rudi Johnson was cut by the Bengals on Saturday, and immediately invited to Detroit for a tryout. He was greeted warmly…..besides the fact that ”someone” stole his bags from outside CEO Matt Millen’s office.

Who stole Rudi’s bags?  According to surveillance cameras, a guy by the name of Tatum Bell “stole the cookies”.    Why would Tatum Bell do this?  The answer seems likely that Tatum’s thuggish motivation might be that he was just fired by the team.  

Tatum took the bags to a girly he knew and “axed” her to keep an eye on them.  In Bells defense, he claims he thought the bags belonged to someone he knew. [Pro Football Talk]

Juice: Was Tatum about to make a run for the border?  

ESPN thought it would be a good idea to remind America of how sucky fans apparently are in Arizona.  The Cardinal fans were ranked dead last at #32 in ESPNs recent ranking of the NFL fans. Are we shocked?  No.  Do we need to be reminded?  No.  

The Steelers were ranked #1 and we don’t disagree.  The loyalty in the Steel City is like the loyalty in Green Bay, who’ve sold out every game since 1960.  [photo:US Presswire/ESPN]

Here’s the top 10, you can find the entire list here:

1.  Steelers    

2.  Packers

3.  Browns

4.  Eagles

5.  Chiefs

6.  Redskins

7.  Broncos

8.  Patriots

9.  Raiders

10.  Giants

Juice:  No offense, Oakland.  But….Oakland top 10?  Where they have a reputation of beating down visiting fans in the parking lots and throwing batteries at the players on the field?  Where the organization has moved repeatedly in an attempt to find “home”.  Explain…

Good morning, kids, and welcome to another episode of Morning Wood.  Today’s guest is this beautiful and unnamed young lady.  We’ve selected her to present todays stories for one very big reason:  This girl clearly understands ATV Safety.  

Please be careful when riding one of these machines.  Are they fun?  Sure.  Can you ride them for hours?  Yes.  Do we wish we riding one right now?  Of course.  But you gotta be careful.  If you ever get on one of these, be sure wear protection.  Helmet, boots, and even gloves.  In 2006, there were 146,600 ATV-related injuries…and we need you this football season, so don’t be a dummy.   

Anyway, the Jaguars have gang-related issues, the lions have landed a RB you may know,  and the Ravens name their quarterback- all below in our top stories. 

HEADLINES

• Jags’ LT shot multiple times, in critical condition

• Lions’ share: Detroit lands former Pro Bowl RB

• Saints will play in Superdome despite hurricane

• Cops pointed gun at Jags’ RB, did drug search

• NFL will honor Upshaw at all 16 opening games

• Packers DT Pickett returns to boost run defense

• Brady: I’m ready to start opener  | Pats ink CB

• Healthy choice: Ravens name rookie QB starter

• Anderson back, likely to start at QB for Browns

• Jags’ Porter practices for first time in 3 months

Inoke Funaki got the nod to start at quarterback for Hawaii.

The Hawaiian Football program suffered a beat down this past weekend against 5th ranked Florida, 56-10.  With the dismal performance of starting quarterback Greg Alexander, who completing 11 of 21 passes 57 yards and two interceptions- one for a touchdown, head coach Greg McMackin announced that the starting quarterback would not be Greg.  Instead, Inoke will be the starter.

Funaki got in the Florida game and looked decent,  completing 8 of 11 passes for 110 yards and UH’s lone touchdown.

Juice:  We like to say the name “Inoke Funaki”.  Try it.  It’s empowering.  Say it under your breath, as if you are doing a voice over for the video game Street Fighter.  Say it like you are about to viciously destroy your enemy (in the video game)

We also posted this because Inoke wears old school Roller Skates after practice.  Stay tuned to the Juice as we follow Inoke on his magical journey this season.